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June 29 Reluctantly, againEverytime when it's time to depart with my hard cash
for future-investment, I couldn't stop griping! Each time
3K flies, a couple of textbooks & countless notes to be
printed out will serve as the most direct form of
consolation at that point of time.
Have just completed Year1 & 1.5more to come before
I kiss goodbye to my monkey job I'm currently slogging
for. I bet no one will ever be satisfied with what they have now,
let alone greedy me.
Nearly had my heads cracked - thinking of how to make the trip
to Paris possible while still putting Bangkok trip on first
priority, the challenge of fully-utilising my only 5-day remaining
leave to satisfy the freaking packed schedule, and most importantly
to save money and it is something I have yet to embark on despite
having lived close 22years.
Oh, back to the first line of the previous para. I have only ONE head
to start with. June 24 With anticipation..Chopped my tickets to Bangok on Air Asia this morning.
A pair of return tickets for 130 Sing bucks!!!
With that money, you fail to gain entrance to Stef sun's
concert, even with full mentality of being banished to the
very ends of the Singapore Indoor Stadium.
And with what I paid for her show on 11th July, it could
definitely cover my airfares and accomodation.
But whatever it is, it's worth it=)
June 23 Nothing Gained Nothing LostDay fully spent. Not a single thought about it.
Your closest kin was worried that my mind might
wander about to the emo end and slits the heart.
But it ended up as redundancy.
I bursted out laughing when he filled me in about
getting his Sinagporean friends to post him cars,
houses & stuff to send to you. And was ultimately
hilarious when he mentioned that he has specially
ordered some good stuff for your birthday. Perhaps
some hot babes.
Your common local friends were dumbfolded.
Your Mom & Pop enthrusted everything to him and
they had a trip to the town.
I gained nothing more, lost nothing yet. I'm still trying
to instal this thinking into me.
June 20 愚人的国度<愚人的国度>
爱是愚人的国度
看我们演的好辛苦
是你所谓的领悟
我不懂 我不哭
看悲欢喜怒每一步
是疲惫还是依赖的束缚
来你能不能再重复
让我懂 让我哭
再让时间停住 再把字看清楚
不必再说假如 我 唱过 天地荒芜
借口不能碰触
爱是愚人的国度
不能自拔 不懂退出
我们都回不去最初
曾美丽 但还是不满足
爱是自愚 愚人出
一步一步自我陷入
剧情 是笑 是哭
再让画面停住
把自己看清楚
不必再说假如 我 穿过一地荒芜
幸福 不能碰触
爱是愚人的国度
不能自拔 不懂退出
我们都回不去最初
曾美丽 但还是不满足
爱是自愚 愚人演出
一步一步自我陷入
剧情 是笑 是哭
爱是愚人的国度
不能自拔 不懂退出
我们都回不去最初
怎样爱 也还是不满足
爱是自愚 愚人演出
一步一步 自我陷入
结局 是笑 是哭
Stef's 1st hit to meet the public & had
it's 1st greet on her 15th May Taiwan Concert.
Surprisingly, pen by her=)
Simple yet complicated, akin to her.
& my addiction is some kinda incurable
as I could listen to it consecutively & repeatedly
for more than 30times..
June 19 DepressedWas staring at the mirror for half an hour, analyzing the burnt
degree of my face & it sets me worrying.
It's definitely tonnes of twices & thrices the depression you get
from achne breakout. Cause due to the fact that it might be
permanent.
Ain't those pimples or blackheads that you squeeze & at most
it leaves some achne scars behind. Patches of raw skin completely
mismatches the normal skin.
"Disfigured" is the last word to pick from the dictionary.
Thanks to all who rubbed it in.
& thanks to whoever for bringing me to realization that
sometimes, sorry & care mean nothing at all.
June 18 Why?My burnt's pretty bad in the sense that
skin starts peeling off in clusters abandoning
my vulnerable flesh. The huge application of
aloe vera gel hopefully will curb the pain abit
& makes my money worthwhile. Well, I simply
grabbed the most expensive tube off the shelf
@Watsons.
It's amazing how people can make something out
of nothing. All those naive thoughts of people
forgiving & forgetting have once again been proven
wrong crudely.
I really wonder why. What has those people stand to
gain by wrecking havoc, disrupting peace? I just don't
get it.
My lovelife was a tragedy. The friendship I cared for
most has gone bust & till now I've got no clue of how
to fix it. And now, the long settled family problems
have arose again & I believe it will continue to bug me
due to the fact that the leopard never change it's spots.
& here we are talkng about a few leopards.
Very disheartening when you got put down. It's like
a moment ago you were still on cloud nine & then the
next moment you dropped to atlantic zero.
I'm bringing everything to bed I presume..
June 16 ExhaustedThe past 5days definitely marked an important spot on my
memory lane. How I wish I could be sitting at the BBQ area
now, buttoms up with my beloved rest, under the stars with
airplanes crossing the skies. But good things will eventually come
to an end. That's something I know best & what that has rein me in.
Pretty sunk into the fun aftermath which freezes the brains & mind,
wondering what's gonna be the next thing to look forward to.
One thing for sure is that I will be burning all my nights @work
until the end of the month which will comence the end of & July is a
big question mark. And the hit is in less than a week's time & so
unfortunately I'm on off which makes no excuse for me to work
my whatever feelings off.
Have just emailed James my July roster request of which nothing
gotta do with compromising my classes that are commencing don't-know-when.
25th has been chopped for paintballs war with SSS & 26th I will be
caving in for 6C fondue party with my primary schoolmates that I've
not met up with for some donkey years.
And most importantly 11th July!!! The long-anticipated Stef Sun concert.
July seems interesting & worth looking forward too.
Was watching some HK drama & saw this..
When darkness falls into the world, one may have lost our sense of
direction..
& I believe that was the main cause of my impulsiveness. Not gonna
let history repeats itself. Lotsa thinking to be done..
June 11 Away from the buzzThat fella living upstairs is on his
drilling & hammering AGAIN! Shall refrain from
being discriminative. There are dire circumstances
which drive you to the living edge & leave you
speechless then ignorant.
For the next 5days, I have ample & justifiable reasons
to get away from whatever fits I'm facing now.
No work, no naggings from the office terror.
Initially wanted to bring my lappie along with me but
have finally decided to oppose.
No facebook, no redundant contact with the outside world.
Just gonna spend all the time my family worths..
make it the most memorable birthday for Granny=)
June 10 AccustomnismTime's an amazing grace for individuals
to settle down in peace of calm thoughts.
True enough, at least for me.
I was once so used to taking the center lift
right outside the clock in/out station which
brings me to level4 and commences the maze
which passes through various airline offices before
reaching my office.
This morning, I took some efforts
crossing the bus track and elevated to the
arrival hall then finally headed for the lift
that brought me to my office.
A change that I sought for. Ain't bad at all.
But that doesn't mean that I will do the same
bidding tomorrow.
Try using your opposite hand to brush your teeth
before you retreat to bed later on. Some enlightenment
might hit your head.
June 08 Like a DiaryHad this sudden crave for meatballs in my sleep
& it actually woke me up after 6hrs of rej &
dilligently aranged with Zuriel for a meet up @Ikea.
Before making my way down, dropped by so
inconveniently @Hougang Mall to grab some
metallic balloons & finally got my 2 pairs of shorts
from Cotton On & was caught up in the crowd of
the Popular atrium sale.
In no time I found myself joining those Aunties
with hands dug into the heaps of books. And I left
with a vitctory bag. Got a "Beginner's Book for German"
for myself. Not that I'm interested in learning this
foreign language or whatsoever. Just that it's the
Singaporean spirit; diedie must buy something from a Sale".
And a couple of recipe books for my Mum. Yeah,
a great hint for her to whip up more delicacies for
the family. For me, I don't need any reason not to cook.
June 06 That Pimple
I've actually got tonnes of thoughts carved along the wrinkles of my brains but nothing seems to be flowing out with the juice. The freaking obstinate pimple on my left eyelid has wrecked some confusions of its presence. I believe it's gone but it left with a blast of awful potruding dead skin-like thingy on the spot where it used to be. You know what I mean.
June 05 Out of itSometimes when I sink into enjoyment & indulgence
too much, I have this prick in my conscience whether
is it not wrong for me to be in that.
So I guess why when it comes to being alone-away from
the ever-entertaining crowd, I will further lower my
points & lay myself in the most emo self-created
comfort zone. That does not imply that I'm really feeling
down or whatsoever.
In the past, I never believe in compatibility. You know,
it's like putting soysauce in your Subway melt that sorta thing.
Very bad example, I know. But thats absolute mismatch, everyone knows.
One has to come in terms with the fact that any resort of force will
only make things go against what you desire. The theory of like & unlike poles
attract is not applicable here.
Learning to take things in my own stride undoubtly makes me a
happier person. And yea, I'm as happy as a Mac Happy Meal.
Another bad example here. But who cares.
And ohh, I've cleared my Flight Dispatch Course. Now keeping
my fingers crossed for my school results=)
And it's FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!! * NO alcohol NO curry*
June 03 zzzZZAfter clearing the massive disruptions left behind
by QF06 that had failed our expectations to depart
from Frankfurt safe & sound and leave for Sydney
after having an hr's turnaround in Singapore, I cabbed
my way to Rue's place.
After an hr's long satisfying bath, I jumped into his
bed & spent my entire evening in dreamland.
Before making my way home, I sort out some
thinkings. May God bless.
June 01 ChangeI'm entering a different phase of my life,
not as though I have been dealt with a big blow
that sorta thing, neither that means I've stepped into
a grand new age..
I love changes, everynow and then, and I'm definitely
loving it.
June's work roster fits me to a T, with dispatch and flightwatch
understudies, not forgetting my comfort zone (QF&BA).
My lifestyle is now undergoing exorbitant revolution.
Have embarked on stuff that I've never ever attempted
in the past. All will be put on trial cause I may and may not like it.
But everything's worth the try.
Bring it on!
I will be goodFor the past 2days..
I've learnt to live my life for myself..
especially when life is that vulnerable.
Not even a drip of alcohol was taken in
this week which has just passed. But I had
curry chicken baked rice=X Kae is so gonna
nag if he learns about it. Afterall, it's for my own good
to curb on those stuff.
And Auntie Gina said something which makes real sense.
"It doesn't matter where we go. It's the people who matters yea"
Apparently, that was what she text me to coax me into a non-clubby Friday night.
Had fun last 2days. But the disheartening thing is..
I'm missing you more each day. |
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